The Voices in Jen's Head

Just what I have been saying all along...

2008-11-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

"US carmakers have 105 plants in 20 states. They support 14,000 dealers across the country, who in turn employ 740,000 people. The automakers buy $156 billion in parts and services from suppliers in every state. The collapse of the Detroit automakers would lead to widespread failure of these suppliers, who also supply the non-US auto manufacturers. It would quickly put an estimated 3 million people out of jobs and cost this country $150 billion in spendable income and $45 billion in taxes those unemployed people won’t be paying. With all this at stake, Governor Jennifer Granholm has warned that allowing the Big Three to go into bankruptcy would push the automakers over a cliff and threaten their very survival."

And some in this country don't think that the US government should help with a bailout for the Big Three. While it seems, on the surface, that a bailout only helps Michigan...here is clearly what it will do for the rest of the country. Chapter 11 bankruptcy for a few months would not help either. Truthfully, most people are not going to buy cars from manufacturers in Chpt. 11. And those that are willing to buy cars are only going to do so if they can get a REALLY REALLY good deal. They can't lower wages, the UAW has already said no way to that idea, as they already gave in to lower wages on the last contract (and remember there were strikes to get those contracts done!). Will getting rid of the UAW help at this point? Who knows, but it is time for everyone to push for this bailout. Otherwise, our country will be going in to the crapper even more than we are already.

Dear Red States...

2008-11-05T11:01:00.001-08:00

Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving.
We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States
with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California , Hawaii ,
Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all
the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get the Statue of Liberty.
You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard.
You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85% of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need
people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently
willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you
don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you
success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to
spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the
country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of
the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese,
90% of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88%
of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all
U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of
all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually
swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the
war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory,
53% believe that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards
believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico

Peace out,
Blue States

---------------
Clark Shipley
http://www.clarkshipley.com

Election Day

2008-11-04T06:26:00.000-08:00

Couldn't have said it better myself...

WaiterRant on Election Day

Funny or Die..on politics

2008-10-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?

2008-10-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

Everyday I read some story about some stupid person, or group of stupid people. I usually just shake my head and think to myself, what the hell is wrong with this person/these people.

Today's story made me not only shake my head and talk to myself, but literally makes me sick to my stomach.

Read this and tell me what you think...
Story of today's idiocy

Big Sports News In Detroit

2008-09-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

What a great Wednesday morning...Matt Millen in GONE! I am thankful that someone involved with the Lions sees that he is useless and has been since the day he started (although they are several seasons late in making this change). But really, there are so many other changes that need to be made...this is just the tip of the iceberg. I can only imagine that a new President/GM will want his own coaches, etc. so if I was Marinelli I might be looking over my shoulder. So begins another 3-5 year rebuilding plan that leaves us at the same place we were before Millen was hired. And where will we be in 3-5 years? Hopefully not saying the same things all over again.

Secondly, and on a sadder(?) note, my heart-attack pitcher for the Tigers, Todd Jones, announced his retirement today. Although he was once a good pitcher, he has been a heart attack waiting to happen...or as Ernie called him, "roller coaster". I am sad to see good players retire, but this move has been a long-time coming. I am just concerned that there will not be ANYONE in the bullpen next season. I think that this is the beginning of the rebuilding again for the Tigers. Kenny Rogers will probably retire too, but maybe they can hire him to work with the young pitchers. Look at what he did in 2006 with the rookies pitchers we had. Although nothing good has happened with pitching since then, so who knows.

Food Debate

2008-09-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

From Wine Me, Dine Me

Coke or Pepsi? Coke, but if I am out at a restaurant Pepsi will suffice

Thick crust or thin for your Pizza? Thick...hello, can you say Pizzapapalis deep dish (spinach special, no mushrooms...maybe add some italian sausage)

Rare or Well Done for you steak? Rare. My tastes have gotten progressively rarer as I've gotten older.

Hot Dogs or Hamburgers? Hamburger...slice of onion, lettuce, cheese, ketchup, mustard, pickles

Ketchup or Mustard on your hot dog? Mustard and relish...save the ketchup for the fries

Cake or Pie? Yes please, a sliver of both would be great

Brownies with a fine, glossy crust, or soft cake brownies? Soft cakey brownies...

Nuts in the brownies? Yes, if I make them they have nuts, but are not necessary if I am buying them or someone else has made them.

Vanilla or Chocolate ice cream? Vanilla...you can add chocolate as a topping

Blue cheese or ranch dressing with your Buffalo wings? Ranch because I use it for the celery...the Wings don't need anything

Soup or Salad? Salads. I love salad in any form.

Butter on your Popcorn? Do I have to eat it...not a popcorn fan (unless it is kettle corn...)

Pork or Beef barbecue? PORK, save beef for steaks and burgers

Coffee or tea? Tea

Beer from a can or a bottle? Bottle...Canadian

Oreos or Hydrox? Oreos.

Little Debbie or Hostess? Little Debbie, oatmeal pies or swiss cake rolls

Bacon or Sausage? Bacon, put the sausage in my gravy

Eggs Scrambled or Fried? Scrambled. Only like fried if the whites and yolks are FULLY cooked

thought for today...

2008-09-10T15:31:00.001-07:00

Thanks Alanis for the wonderful lyrics that are summing up "me" right now...

From Its a Bitch to Grow Up

I feel done, I feel raked over coals
and all that remains is the case
That it's a bitch to grow up

And...

From On the Tequila

Bring on the Tequila oh
On fire on Tequila oh
Mostest most on Tequila oh
Bestest friends on Tequila oh

Damn it, I hate when some people are right...

2008-08-20T19:37:00.001-07:00

So, this was written by my friend, Michele, about 4 years ago. How come it still rings true for me?

I originally tapped Wells for one book in particular to illustrate the current state of my love life, although reading through a list of his works, I am reminded there are others with oddly appropriate titles, like “The Invisible Man” or “War of the Worlds.” But no, this time it’s all about “The Island of Dr. Moreau.”

Yes, it’s true. My love life has finally reached the point of paralleling really gruesome science fiction.

“Moreau” is one of my all-time favorite books, written by one of my all-time favorite authors, and even commemorated by one of my all-time favorite bands, Oingo Boingo, in the song “No Spill Blood.” I wish I could say that cinematic monstrosity with Val Kilmer and Marlon Brando was one of my all-time favorite movies, but hey, I gotta draw the line somewhere. That just sucked. Not only that, but Mike Myers’ mini-me was way cuter than Brando’s.

Anyway, if you’ve never read “Moreau,” it’s about a rather twisted vivisectionist who is ostracized by society and relocates to a remote island, where he tries to create people out of animals. One of the ways in which he attempts to keep the animal-men from reverting back to animals is with a strict set of five laws which, when broken, result in a trip to the House of Pain for the offending man-beast. And somewhere in all of that, there is material directly relevant to my love life and its current unpleasant state.

I’ve certainly done my fair share of dating, sometimes with really great guys, sometimes with world-class buttnuggets, and that experience has taught me this: There are five laws that MUST be strictly obeyed when dating in order to avoid a trip to the House of Pain. (There! See? My love life IS just like an HG Wells novel! You bunch of doubting Thomases! You thought I couldn’t tie them together!)

Those rules are:

1. Never date men with dangerous jobs
2. Never date men who smoke
3. Never date men who are shorter than me
4. Men who say “fat chicks have better personalities” really mean “I am under the mistaken impression that fat chicks have lower standards and are more likely to put up with my crap.”
5. When a man sends you mixed signals, the negative ones are the ones to take seriously.

As Dale Carnegie would say, that last one is so important, I’m going to repeat it: When a man sends you mixed signals, the negative ones are the ones to take seriously.

Each and every time I’ve broken one or more of these rules, the result has been unpleasant at best, disastrous at worst.

Every. Single. Time.

And I always get myself into hot water the same way: I meet somebody for whom it seems worth it to make an exception. Remember Jay, the guy with whom I became inexplicably smitten, who dumped me for someone else and didn’t even bother to tell me? I knew I was violating the first three rules when I dated him– he was a short cop who smoked. By the time the thing was over, I had violated all five. An all-expenses paid trip to Chez Pain.

Such is the fate of the smitten.

You may want to look away from your screens for a moment, because I’m about to quote Britney Spears:

Oops, I think I did it again.

In this case, I only violated one rule, but I violated it for a period of several months, because I just really am that big of an idiot. And lo and behold, I’m back in Chez Pain, and they kept the light on for me.

Damn it all. She wrote the story of my life for me...then AND now.

Realizations

2008-08-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

I was introduced to a "new" (at least to me) blog yesterday. It was at the suggestion of a friend, who does not know that I know she has a blog, let alone that I read her blog every day.

Anyway...this new blog is very insightful. As a matter of fact, I have had a HUGE realization while reading it....I AM NOT THE SMARTEST PERSON AROUND. I know that this seems an odd statement, but most of the time, I truly believe that I am the smartest person in the room. And not just book smart (which I might be able to say that I am not), but I am pretty worldly smart. I have to say that even if I don't immediately know the answer, I am QUICK at being able to find it.

Today's insight:
1. Farting makes for great laughs
Let me start by saying...I don't want to smell farts. But to hear someone fart, makes me giggle. If they can do it on command, even louder laughter. And the fact that when I walk through the grocery store and want to do a "fart walk"...come on, purely hilarious. As a matter of fact, I can confirm that my dog does a fart walk. Side story...we went on vacation over memorial day weekend and rented a cabin in the mountains near Gatlinburg, TN. The first morning we were there, the dog goes walking by me and lets out 6 (yes, 6!) farts. He kept walking, pretending he had no idea that his ass just made noise. I looked around thinking I was imaging it. Nope, I had witnesses to the fart walk! I am scared now every morning when he walks by me, that he is on his fart walk. Again, no need for smelling them!
2. Everyone is screwed up and I would rather gnaw off my arm that discuss why *I* am screwed up
I have a great wall built around me. I know it is there, I know it is high, and I know that it is difficult to get through. I wish that everyone else could see it too, cause it sure would save me a lot of time and trouble. I need therapy. I have known this for a while. Hell, the wonderful State of Michigan used to pay for part of it when I was a kid. Too bad they don't continue that program once you become an adult. I will never forget the one and only therapist I truly could open up to. I wish Doug was still around, cause I would probably be tempted to see him every few weeks. I guess I just don't know where to begin to find a therapist now. I have asked friends that I know see someone for recommendations, but therapy is such a highly personal thing that I think I need to find someone on my own. But where to begin? And would I really go? I mean, come on, I am 35 years old and have some issues. I won't begin to go in to them here, but they would probably shock the people that know me.

Ok, enough for now...

~J

Makes me think of childhood...

2008-08-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

Lunch today is Bologna on Wonder bread with Miracle Whip...

YUMMY YUMMY FOR MY TUMMY
(not really, but it makes me feel young at heart)

Pudge Rodriguez

2008-07-31T05:40:00.000-07:00

Thank you Mitch Albom for putting in to words, what I , as a loyal Tiger fan feel about Pudge.

I have had season tickets for a while. And even before then, I managed to make it to at least 10 games a season. There were games where you could almost count each and every person at the ballpark. Day games and night games where you felt that there were more people crossing to the bridge and tunnel to go the Windsor Casino than going to the ballpark.

Yes, I was totally surprised that they traded Pudge. But not really surprised that he is gone. He was at the end of his contract, he was probably not going to sign here again (mostly for financial reasons, but probably wanted to be closer to his home in Florida), and truthfully, he was not playing everyday, either because he could not physically do it, or because he was not hitting as well. Either way, he was not destined to retire as a Tiger. He was and always will be the reason that this team turned around. The reason people started showing up at the ballpark. (BTW, I can't call them fans because they only show up when the team is winning....)

I can't wait until Sept. 1st when the team returns. I will stand and applaud Pudge on his return to Detroit. He deserves it from the fans...he deserves it from the team...and he deserves it from the City.

Movie Reivew - Wanted

2008-07-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

Don't see it. Don't give in to the theaters. It ain't worth the money. It probably isn't event worth the price of a rental...

Randy Pausch - To Dream

2008-07-25T07:52:00.000-07:00

The lecture is amazing.

Saddest part... Obit

DNA as art?

2008-07-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

Saw this ad in a magazine. Looks cool and I would love to get a portrait...

Question though, do they screen the DNA to see if someone is a criminal/wanted felony/etc? Not that I am concerned about it for me, but I just wonder if they think of this and/or protect the person sending the DNA in?

Holy power-hungry IT Admin

2008-07-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

Seems someone has a little too much power...

IT Admin

A day of sadness...

2008-07-09T11:20:00.001-07:00

Today made me think of this poem (many believe it to be written by Mary Frye):

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.

Mongol

2008-07-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

Please everyone go see this movie. It is so good...cinematography, acting, costumes...all excellent. It is the story of Genghis Khan and his "rise to power" as the leader of the Mongols. What an awesome story (and yes ladies, there is a love story woven in to it).

Let me know what you all think about it...I would love to know.

Interesting article

2008-07-03T05:52:00.000-07:00

This link was on another blog that I read. I found the article completely interesting...but it makes me want to itch EVERY where...all the time...but I sure hope that I could stop short of what M. did.

Itch away

First Day

2008-06-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

Holy Crap...here I am joining the blog world. Yes, the voices that run around my head when I see things in the world, will now have a place to speak.

Be prepared everyone...I may not always be nice, I may not always be kind...but I will always tell the truth, even to my own detriment.